In the musical A Little Night Music one of the characters, I think it's the wife of the colonel who is having an affair with Desiree, sings a song entitled "Every day a little death". Since the middle of December it seems that I can't get through a day without hearing about the death of someone who was part of my life.
It started with Katherine Wells of Berlin. Katherine had been a client of mine for years, but over the past few years we became close. She was waiting to die. Her health had deteriorated to a point where she couldn't move without help. She couldn't see well enough to read or write. And she felt like she had no purpose and had out-lived her usefulness. It was sad to see her that way and I spent most of my visits trying to convince her that she was loved and still had alot to contribute to the people who knew her.
Members of my extended United Methodist family have suffered many losses in the past month or so. Bob Trost died back in October or November. He sang with me at Church of the Covenant, but knew Nana(my grandmother on my mother's side). He was a connection to that generation and his death feels like it severs that tie somehow in that regard. Bill Barney was a District Superintendent I dealt with when I was Chancellor for Troy Conference. He died around Christmas. Nice guy with a jovial and loving spirit. Finally, Roger Underwood Day died a little over a week ago. Roger was pastor at West Sand Lake Methodist Church when I was a teenager. He was a funny and warm person. I remember MYF meetings, trips to the RPI carol sing(when they still had it), and him trying to promote a romance between Dorothy Jean Halligan and me. He also was a big RPI hockey fan and continued to attend games even after he moved from West Sand Lake. His wife, Mary Lou, was my math tutor(a lotta good her hard work did, he said sarcastically. Roger was pretty conservative politically which I didn't know until I went to him at one point to discuss the possibility of being a conscientious objector over the Vietnam War. I was pretty much summarily dismissed from his office. Of course later I found out that he had been in the military - opps - wrong church wrong pew. A good guy though.
Just before we headed back to Durham, I received news that Willie Jones's wife Gracemary had died. Willie is one of the stalwart members of the Oldcastle Theatre Company in Bennington and Gracemary was a very gracious and faithful member of our audience. She always found something nice to say about our productions. She had been ill for quite awhile and Willie had spent considerable time carrying for her. He had to give up the grandfather's role in "Awake and Sing" because of the time requirements of her care.
My high school friend Eunice Rescott, hereinafter referred to as The Angel of Death, had notified me of Roger Day's illness and death. Yesterday she forwarded a death notice concerning a classmate of ours from Averill Park High School - Mark Hammer. I remember him a a bright quiet guy who also joined us for MYF in West Sand Lake. He still lived in AP. I wished I had looked him up.
Today, my son's mother forward a death notice for Ivan Purdy, a fellow I used to teach with at Berlin High School. Ivan was a science teacher and basketball coach. As I remember, he worked Bob Knight's basketball camps when Knight was at West Point. He left BCS suddenly and I never really heard what became of him. It appears that he moved to the Syracuse area and spent all his career there. Ivan sometimes operated in a slightly different time zone than the rest of us. A bunch of us went to a Yankee/ Washington Senator double-header(that shows how long ago this happen -Washington Senators? - doubleheader?) Anyway after we found our seats and Ivan disappeared. For over 7 hours and God knows how many beers, we didn't see hide nor hair of Ivan. When he finally returned, he said that he had been wandering around the Stadium and spending time in the Yankee Hall of Fame. Who knows. He probably didn't want to be around 5 rowdy drunks.
I can't say as I was close to any of these people, except Katherine; yet their collective passing saddens me greatly. It's probably because it reinforces my own mortality and brings back the sadness surrounding the loss of my loved ones. There's so much I wish I had shared or could have shared with my parents and relatives and friends who have died. To have been able to tap into their knowledge and their experiences would have made me a better person. But life does move. So goodbye and thanks to Katherine, Bob, Bill, Roger, Gracemary, Mark, and Ivan. Be at peace.
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